Birth Story 05

Our Story

5 ½ years ago, I gave birth to my son after experiencing two miscarriages and being told I might not be able to carry a pregnancy to term. I was a nervous wreck throughout the entire pregnancy. When my son was diagnosed with a cleft lip late in the pregnancy and we were told he might have other birth defects as well, my anxiety increased. The NHS care I received throughout the pregnancy wasn’t terrible, but it was typical – there was very little continuity of care, I never felt like anyone was listening to my concerns or my wishes, and ultimately I allowed myself to be pushed into making decisions that weren’t right for me or my family out of fear. Instead of the natural birth in the birth centre that I had hoped for, I had an induction, leading to a very quick and traumatic hospital birth, a postpartum haemorrhage, and an awful postnatal period that had a negative impact on all three of us. I knew I never wanted to go through that again.

Four years later, my husband and I finally felt ready to think about trying for another baby. We had moved to a new area, and I felt sure that this time around things would be different. I managed to control my anxiety throughout the early stages of pregnancy, until I had my first visit with a consultant (necessary to due to some unusual, but fairly minor, health conditions) who refused to listen to my wishes and made me feel there was a reason to be fearful about this pregnancy and birth. I started feeling anxious again, and despite his assurances that this was a different hospital and the outcome would be different, it was all starting to feel very similar.

That was when I started looking into private midwifery care. I wanted continuity of care, from someone I chose, who knew me and understood what I wanted and needed. When difficult decisions needed to be made, I wanted advice from a professional I knew and whose opinion I could trust.

At first, I started to feel discouraged because there were no private hospitals in my area, and, as I didn’t want a home birth, I thought there was no other option. But then I found Leonie. When I met her, she was so kind and took the time to listen to my history, my fears, and my hopes for this pregnancy and birth.

At the beginning, my husband and I had our doubts about whether or not it was “worth it” to engage a private midwife when I was still planning a birth in an NHS hospital or a birthing centre, but he said if it relieved my anxiety it would be money well spent. And it was. Leonie used her contacts at the hospital to get me an appointment with the consultant who I was originally supposed to see, and I was given approval to use the birthing centre.

When what should have been a simple check up at the MAU turned into a disaster, Leonie advocated for me and made the complaint that needed to be made but that I didn’t have the strength to do myself. When I needed to go in again later in the pregnancy, she spent a lot of time on the Sunday with me in the hospital so I wouldn’t be alone while my husband took care of our son. Anytime I started feeling anxious again, she was always available on WhatsApp or by phone to give me reassurance. She made me believe that things would be different – and better – this time around. I was much more relaxed, and by the end of my pregnancy, was even looking forward to the birth.

In the end, this birth didn’t go as planned. My labour progressed very quickly, and I developed blurred vision which meant that upon arrival at the hospital, the birthing centre refused to admit me until I had been evaluated in the delivery suite. When Leonie realised how quickly things were progressing, she jumped in her car and raced to the hospital to make sure she would be present for the birth.

Even though it was nothing like I had planned, I felt unbelievably supported the entire time. I was barely able to speak by the time I got into a room, but we had discussed everything so well I was still able to tell the hospital midwife the most important details regarding how my health conditions would affect the birth and what she could do to help, as there was no time to read my notes or birth plan. Leonie worked with the hospital midwife to make sure everything was done according to the consultant’s directions and my wishes.

Thanks to Leonie, I felt much more present during this birth, and even though it was very quick, I didn’t go into shock the same way I did after the quick birth of my son.