Birth Story 18

Our Story

We are Abbie and James, we had Rory in 2018 and Leonie was our midwife for Zachary who was born in November 2020!

I found out I was pregnant with my second child just before the pandemic hit. I knew I wanted a homebirth and was happy to find out the NHS offered a caseloading team – however within a week of booking it was locked down, and this team was disbanded. I was really disappointed to lose the promise of continuity of care.  Rory had arrived early at 36 weeks after a very quick labour. I found it quite traumatic. The key for me was having someone that I knew and respected and that also knew me at the birth.

I had been considering a doula, I started looking into this and spoke to some wonderful women. However, my husband was less keen on having ‘extra’ people around and feeling like a spare part. I then found out that independent midwives were ‘a thing’. This seemed like a good solution, it would be intimate but would offer the level of relationship that would make me feel secure when birthing. We spoke to a few different midwives, but when we spoke to Leonie we both knew she was the one for us.

It is a large sum of money – however, investing in the birth of a child did feel like it wouldn’t be wasteful! In addition, the value for money was UNPARALLELED. Support was around the clock, for any concerns, tiny or huge, for lighthearted moments and to support us with bigger decisions and advocacy.

A secondary concern was that if we had to transfer into hospital we would receive poorer care as the hospital staff might think, “who’s this princess swanning in with her own midwives?” Again, this was unfounded. She liaised directly and seamlessly with my NHS antenatal care.

Leonie is so obviously experienced, passionate and knowledgeable we knew we would be properly looked after. She is woman centred, up to date with research and evidence and shared the same views with regards to the feminist aspects of pregnancy that we do so it was a perfect fit.

A not minor consideration was that they really liked our dog, so we knew there would be no issues with him being around during appointments or the birth either!

I really looked forward to our antenatal appointments for a chat, to put the world to rights and I loved how James and Rory (and Digby the dog) were included in these appointments, which were flexible, booked around us, and lasted as long as I needed them to.

The birth prep meeting was probably even more useful for my husband than me, and it meant we went through a clear birth plan together so I didn’t need to write one down or fight for it or justify it through policies and procedures. She was supportive of all options, clearly going through the benefits/risks of all alternatives, but never trying to sway me, just to give me information for me to decide.

I got to term… and then went over (unexpected after my first baby came at 36 weeks),  I was appreciative that I was not pushed to be induced unlike at NHS appointments. She helped me feel confident in my body and I was confident in the care, so I had no anxiety around birth at all.

When my baby finally decided to make an entrance, the whole event was so beautiful, serene and calm. I think only about 10 words were uttered throughout the whole thing. I knew she knew my preferences, knew me, knew my baby.  My husband commented on how in control I was, that I was at the centre of everything, and the room was full of womanly intuition and a mysterious silent communication that he couldn’t tap into! The contrast to my NHS birth where things were done ‘to’ me was vast.  I didn’t make it into the pool but you can’t have everything!

Postnatally, my experience with my first son was irregular, unpredictable follow ups and demand, inconsistent breastfeeding support and no ‘care’. Nobody seemed to care about how I was as long as the baby was gaining weight. No one used his name, or even asked it. And that wasn’t even in Covid times! This time around, Leonie was there for everything, and I loved the visits when she would coo over my lovely new baby but actually spend more time looking after me, picking me up from the baby blues when needed and also fussing with my toddler.

I enjoyed every moment of my pregnancy and my birth, and can’t wait to do it again mainly so we can hang out again! I had a very calm birth experience and I birthed my 11lb4 baby completely unaided at home, and it was miles easier than my 6lb12 baby!

From James:

“One of the big differences between Zac’s birth at home and the hospital experience of Rory’s birth is that, in hospital, Abbie’s discomfort was treated as a given, the overwhelming message was “having a baby is a shitty experience, if you can’t hack it, we’ve got drugs for you, otherwise, we’re just going to ignore it and plough through”. At home with Leonie, it was completely different, much more interested and empathetic to where Abbie was, and what she was feeling. Of course it still hurt, but it seemed like the pain mattered to, and was reacted to by, the people in charge of the birth.”